if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
