Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
