The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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