Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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