I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
