How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
