Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
