when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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