Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
