im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
