YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
