seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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