that's an acceptable place to lick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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