i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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