Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
