Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
