when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
