Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
