Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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