You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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