he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
