You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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