So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
