i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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