the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
