He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
