i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
