I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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