i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
