Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My pussy is not your playground.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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