the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
