I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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