No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
