quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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