Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
