alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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