As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
