Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
