Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
