I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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