so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
