Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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