never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
