stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
