I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
