She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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