Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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