I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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