im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
