I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
