We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
