my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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