The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Text me some of your sweat
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